Doctor's Office

Over the last couple of years, I have noticed when calling the doctor's office, the first thing you hear is a recorded voice telling you that if this is a life-threatening emergency, to hang up and dial 911. REALLY?! It seems to me that this would be obvious to anyone who was actively dying. I have decided that this new message is some sort of disclaimer, based on the potential for patients to actually develop a life-threatening emergency while wading through the extensive computer generated menu of options. Unless you're over 40, you probably don't have any experience with actual humans answering the phone when you call your doctor, but it's true! Real, live humans used to answer the phone. Sometimes, the doctor him/herself would actually call you back. I remember this experience, and in fact, the doctor my parents have been seeing my whole life really did return my long-distance calls when my father was ill. These days, I call, pick a number to press, wait on hold for someone to answer, describe my entire medical problem in (sometimes embarrassing) detail, only to be told that I'm being transferred to Dr. X's nurse. This is a whole new process. First, I hear a recorded message telling me what information to leave for the nurse. This usually amounts to seven or eight vital pieces of information. If I forget what they are and miss one, it's likely that I'll be dead of old age by the time I receive medical care. After leaving the message, phone tag then commences between myself and the nurse, starting the next business day. Hopefully, it's the beginning of the week rather than the end. If it's near a weekend, it could be a week or more before I talk to someone. At long last, I speak to the nurse, who thinks it's prudent for me to make an appointment. This starts the call process all over from the beginning, but eventually, I go see Dr. X, either to be referred to an expensive specialist, or to tell the doctor that whatever I needed fixed has resolved itself on its own. My advice? If you think you're dying, go to the E R. If you don't, just wait it out. Being sick is a lot easier than getting a doctor's appointment.

“I am too stupid to live!"

I picked up the phone today to call my oldest daughter. It went straight to voice mail, so I sent her a text instead. In the meantime, my three-year-old was asking for a snack, so I opened the refrigerator and proceeded to make something for him. Halfway through warming up macaroni and cheese, it dawned on me that I had been walking around the kitchen for the last few minutes with my phone stuck between my shoulder and my ear, waiting for my daughter to answer.

I have ADD. Apparently, I've had it all my life. (Boy, would knowing that have been handy 20 or 30 years ago!) I also have six kids, a husband, a house, two cats, 11 fish, seven snails, a crab, three frogs, and usually, the bug of the day. At least half of our kids have ADD as well. My poor husband! He ends up being the only normally functioning adult in the house! Of course, what all of this means is that our house is an interesting place to be, even if it's a little frustrating sometimes.

Mornings are a real challenge for us, and daylight savings time changes are a nightmare. It adds to the general confusion, and usually results in at least one person getting up late, or early. The best was when our 16-year-old took a nap after school, and woke up at 6:20 p.m. She thought it was morning and she was late for school. She ran around like a maniac for 20 minutes or so before our 13-year-old took pity on her and told her it was still evening.

I wouldn't change any of it, though. We may be a little unorganized, but life is usually a lot of fun around our house, even if it is a little crazy.