Doctor's Office

Over the last couple of years, I have noticed when calling the doctor's office, the first thing you hear is a recorded voice telling you that if this is a life-threatening emergency, to hang up and dial 911. REALLY?! It seems to me that this would be obvious to anyone who was actively dying. I have decided that this new message is some sort of disclaimer, based on the potential for patients to actually develop a life-threatening emergency while wading through the extensive computer generated menu of options. Unless you're over 40, you probably don't have any experience with actual humans answering the phone when you call your doctor, but it's true! Real, live humans used to answer the phone. Sometimes, the doctor him/herself would actually call you back. I remember this experience, and in fact, the doctor my parents have been seeing my whole life really did return my long-distance calls when my father was ill. These days, I call, pick a number to press, wait on hold for someone to answer, describe my entire medical problem in (sometimes embarrassing) detail, only to be told that I'm being transferred to Dr. X's nurse. This is a whole new process. First, I hear a recorded message telling me what information to leave for the nurse. This usually amounts to seven or eight vital pieces of information. If I forget what they are and miss one, it's likely that I'll be dead of old age by the time I receive medical care. After leaving the message, phone tag then commences between myself and the nurse, starting the next business day. Hopefully, it's the beginning of the week rather than the end. If it's near a weekend, it could be a week or more before I talk to someone. At long last, I speak to the nurse, who thinks it's prudent for me to make an appointment. This starts the call process all over from the beginning, but eventually, I go see Dr. X, either to be referred to an expensive specialist, or to tell the doctor that whatever I needed fixed has resolved itself on its own. My advice? If you think you're dying, go to the E R. If you don't, just wait it out. Being sick is a lot easier than getting a doctor's appointment.